I can get Xcode to see the ATV… .and I get the [Pair] button. Click on it, and it asks for the code (which appears on the ATV screen). I enter that code, and click [Connect], a few seconds later the [Pair] button appears again.
Every few hundred times I try this, it seems to work, and I can send Xcode apps to the ATV… but then an hour or so later, I will send a project to the ATV, and BOOM! it unpairs and vanishes, then I’m back to spending a few hours trying to make it work yet again