Sorry I’ve not been very active, I’m still working through whatever it is I’m going through (Depression/Anxiety/Grief). I am at least sleeping through the night now and my guts have calmed down thanks to meds from the Psychiatrist.
I am trying to rebuild my life, but it’s been really difficult. It’s now been two months since my wonderful little dog passed on and I still cry at least once every day.
My cat got out for two days and I was devastated. I can not imagine your pain.
I feel for you, Sam. I had a medical emergency involving eyesight in mid August. Doing fine with the exception of headaches (not migraine level but still…) and being tired. I’m slowly coming back online and engaging. It’s hard. Hang in there - we’re all pulling for you.
It took several years after we had to put down our 12 YO chocolate lab (Mocha) until I was ready for our wonderful mutt we got from the pound. Lacy has turned out to be the most lovable dog I’ve ever had. And as an added bonus she loves to travel in the RV. Whereas Mocha trembled in fear getting into any vehicle. Mocha liked to wander and if she was still with us she’d be down at the lake if we ever let her off leash. Lacy we can leave off leash and she’ll just hang in the yard even when other people and dogs go by. Enjoy your memories of Chino (got the name right?) and just maybe, someday, you’ll be ready to maybe look for another dog. I suspect you’ll know when that time comes.
It’s the worst emotional pain I’ve ever felt, and there’s nothing to do, but go through it. Keeping busy helps to some extent.
I am sorry to read this Bob, and glad to hear that you’re on the mend, keep going. I also had a medical problem earlier in the year with daily headaches, turned out to the meds for psoriasis. It took me a while to get almost 100% back on my feet and then Chino fell into a sinkhole and became paralyzed.
Lacy sounds a lot like Chino, Chino was also a mutt that we rescued, she loved adventures, to swim, steak and was so loyal, even at 13 years and arthritic. She was never far from me ever. It’s been over two months now, and I’m still struggling with it.
Tell Lacy I said “Hi”.
Damn
Every time we talk about our dogs I get this crap in my eyes and have to go wash
Its been 5 years and I still miss my Buddy
But - I remember him fondly and smile, and cry
And I can move on
Still miss him
I totally get it. Lacy is never far from Carol and I either. Most of the time it’s sweet but occasionally she gets a little overbearing but usually sending her to the other human is sufficient.
They are a part of the family and for us they’re a small part of our lives but for them we are a majority (if not all) of their lives.
I still think about Mocha every day. She’d love living near the lake however I know she’d always be IN the lake *ALL day - such a Lab. I was grateful that our entire family was able to be with her at the end and I think that made her very happy.
I donm’t even want to think about that. All times I lost a dog I felt like Sam now. It is hard do get over it and parts of it you will never leave behind you. But you will always remember that dog, that animal. And yes, they ARE part of the family, they are, more or less, family members. And that makes it so hard when they leave. I have two dogs, one is 15 and I know that it will happen one day. There is nothing what we can do while we love them. And yes, for them we are everything. They have nothing else but us. And when I look on my own dogs I realize that they really< deeply love us. Like nobody else.
There’s a joke I’ve heard a few different ways
The gist is
Take your dog. Put him in the trunk of your car.
Come back an hour later and see their reaction
You and I know they’ll be all happy to see you.Now try that wife your wife/significant other
Dogs love us unconditionally
Almost without regard for how we treat them
And there’s that stuff in my eyes again
Love and loss are two sides of the same coin. We have two much loved and very old dogs (12 & 13 years old) and my wife and I are both past 65 now so while it’s tempting to fill the hole with another dog when they go, I think it’s arguably selfish to get a puppy at our age when we can’t be sure we can see them all the way through. Also between us we’ve buried two spouses and a child plus assorted dogs over the years and just don’t know how much more sorrow we can take.
Our neighbors are older than us and have switched to adopting older dogs and replacing them much more frequently … I guess that’s a strategy but honestly aside from the emotional burden there’s the cost of food, vets, sitters and/or limitations on travel that we won’t miss, much as we loved and enjoyed the dogs. We will be in full retirement mode before much longer and losing a $2K+/year in dog expenses is pretty significant. On the other hand maybe a dog keeps us alive and healthy longer. Wish I had a crystal ball!
We have the situation that our kids will take care if something happened to us. So we will replace when that happens again. But with a puppy? I guess no. But that’s far away for us now while our parson terrier is only 3 years old. When he will go we are in the 70th. I guess. Let’s see what we think then about it. For now we are happy that they are here. Especially our dachshound (15) will go within the next years and we know that. He became already grey and yes, he also became old. I know what will come and how painful it will be then. So I can understand you and your wife, no question. May be we will decide exactly in the same wise later. Always in the surreal hope that this case will never come.
Over the past 46 years, my wife and I have adopted/fosted 23 Basset Hounds, sometimes one at a time, sometimes 3 of them. currently we have two, Abby who is near 11 years old but still in reasonable health, and Morgan who is 15 years old, but is blind and has trouble getting around, a few months ago, we lost Rocky who at the time as 13. So I know exactly how it feels, as so far at one time or another we have lost 21 companions… But you need to go into the relationship (and that is what it is) knowing the one of you has a shorter time than the other, and it is your job to insure the your companion has the best life that you can provide, and when its time for them to cross “the Rainbow Bridge” you know that you succeeded, and depending on your other beliefs, you might take comfort in the fact that when it is your turn, they will be lined up waiting for you.
Means you’re human.
I loved the closeness, and I really miss it now it’s gone.
Damn right
Chino would love it too, she loved to swim.
Yep they do, unconditional love.
I’m struggling with the loss part right now. I loved Chino more than anything else in this world and now she’s gone, I am so broken.
That’s exactly what my wife says, I’d do almost anything to have more time with her now. Which I know is not possible.
You appear to be resolving your depression with time and help. There is good psychological evidence that spending time thinking about yourself and your problems is the same thing as being depressed. Please try to find something outside yourself to focus on, as this will help.
Best wishes for a full recovery,
Phil
It isn’t easy to share our recent story because it isn’t a happy ending for Zuri or female Swiss Shepard dog. This is Botswana Africa.
Early Augustus my business partner and myself bought Zuri, a Swiss Shepard dog. At that time, she received her first injection for a virus which kills many uninjected puppies in Botswana.
My business partner shares an appartment at that time with another woman who doesn’t like dogs. However, the roommate after a few days, insisted Zuri should be removed from the appartment (she only was on the balcony).
So I found a solution by putting Zuri during the night in a cage at families house over our house (my spouse her house). Everything went fine, during the day we took Zuri to our office in Tile Africa, during the night she stayed in her cage together with Oxy (her male pittbul companion). Those two loved each other and were close friends.
Then my spouse found out that Zuri was at her families house. She doesn’t like dogs. Because she is the eldest in the family, those family members had to listen. So Zuri had to go again, despite my spouse was not botherred by our small girl.
My business partner sent Zuri to her brother outside Gaborone. Everything went fine, Zuri was accepted, loved and happy there. In the meantime, my business partner was looking for a house were she could stay with Zuri.
Zuri needed a second injection for the virus at 10 september. My business partner still did not had a house, so we discussed the possibility to let her stay at the vetrinary house. It costed P100 which is about 8 USD a day. My business partner found it too expensive and we decidedd to leave her with her brother. She didn’t got the injection which we now regretted deeply!
A week after the 10th of september I demanded that Zuri came home otherwise I would get her myself. I told my business partner that she needed the injections. Until my business partner found a house, she would stay with the doctor.
So around the 17th of september she received the injection.
On Saturday 18 September we walked a very long walk for Zuri, from Phase 4 to deep in the CBD (Central Business District) of Gaborone. During mid-day we eat at Pedros in the Fields mall, were she got a lot of attention from people and children. We nicknamed her Ma’m Attention/Miss Attention because she liked to be in the spotlights.
On Sunday the 19th of September, we got her from the vetrenary in the morning to take her with us at our hydroponics plant in Tile Africa to construct our hydroponics there. She did not eat her foot at the vetrenary. In the afternoon she eated some milk but a few hours later she vomitted everything.
In the late evening, we brought her back to the vetrenary. She seemed better, she walked nicely with us and was alive again. We put her in her cage at the vetrinary and said until tomorrow. That was the last time we saw her alive!
On Monday morning the vetrinary called us with the message that Zuri had diarhea with blood in. He was started treatment. That day we were so busy that we didn’ see Zuri.
The next day, we received a phone call in the morning from the vetrinary that Zuri seemed stable and he has good hopes she would make it. So both my business partner and myself were very sure everything was fine. Because we were still very busy, we decided to leave her at the vetrinary.
In the early afternoon, we received a phone call from the vetrinary that Zuri had died. She died all alone, without anybodies company.
This is a very guilty feeling that I will carry the rest of my life. I had a close bond with her, she always followed me and played with me. In her final hours, when she needed us the most, we failed her terribly.
Both my business partner and myself were very wrong and the way she died is unforgivable for both of us. We should have taken her at the 10 th of September for the injection and should have made time for her when she needed us most.
My business partner and myself decided to get another female Swiss Shepard puppie and we will call her again Zuri. We like that name so much, we loved that puppy so much. However, giving the new puppy the same name will remember us forever on the mistakes we made, how we terribly failed Zuri and to make sure from now on, we give whatever dog we have, the proper attention the animal needs.
What happened what I told you here, will never ever be repeated again. I told my business partner, our dog will be handled like if it was our child. She agreed!
Since the 24th of September, the day she died, I think every day on her and the ignorance of both of us. She deserved much better than we gave her.
To be honest, I am disgusted about myself, about what we did. This is well deserved for both of us!
My dogs always had the luck that they had a stable home and no problems at all. We always take care and they live with us together until they go. Short story. And all of my dogs from childhood on are remembered from time to time. I / they had luck cause non of them was long time ill before they passed. I am still in hope that we will have this luck further with our dogs. In truths: I can’t see them suffering. My Tackle had a herniated disc before a year. That was so bad cause he really had pain. He got medication and magnet pulse therapy, after a week everything was good. I had panic that we need to let him go if the pain will not go away. Luck is the word for that.
I can sympathize
I feel really bad about our Buddy even though he did live to be 11
At the end he was having trouble swallowing and we took him to the vet and they didnt find anything wrong
But this persisted
Eventually on one visit they did find a cancerous lump that was causing the issue
To this day I beat myself up about “If only I had …” and maybe that wouldnt have happened
We had 11 great years and I cherish them to this day
And I always will
Damn - there’s that stuff in my eyes again
Norman, I am sure you did everything you could have done. People who don’t like dogs or never had one, don’t understand. A dog is simply part of the family, that is it. Loosing your dog is very painful and there is a grieving process.
I wish I could fix my mistake, but regretfully that kind of mistake is final. Only regrets and what I could have done to safe Zuri remains. She was already very loyal to us, which makes it only worse.
