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Algebrarian
May 2019

Gwen Elison

Southern Utah University

Elliptic Parallel Postulate Haiku

I am a point P

I want a parallel please!

Oh, there’s none for me.

Hyperbolic Parallel Postulate Haiku

I am a point P

There so many parallels

At least 2 for me!

Euclidean Parallel Postulate

I am a point P

Elliptic? Hyperbolic?

No, just 1 for me!

Southern Utah University

Elliptic Parallel Postulate Haiku

I am a point P

I want a parallel please!

Oh, there’s none for me.

Hyperbolic Parallel Postulate Haiku

I am a point P

There so many parallels

At least 2 for me!

Euclidean Parallel Postulate

I am a point P

Elliptic? Hyperbolic?

No, just 1 for me!

Algebrarian
May 2019

Joseph Argyle, Andrew Misseldine

Southern Utah University

Today we will be talking about advanced mathematics.

Let out your primal screams now.

It almost seems as if mathematics are a histamine to most people,

But mathematics is omnipresent in every interaction between two universes.

Mathematics is obscenity. We know it when we see it.

Mathematicians are the teenage girls in the back of a borrowed Toyota Camry

Demanding to know “what are we?”

Most people feel the tense shrug and the stiff arm of her companion.

Mathematicians feel the swagger of a braggart uncle at the watermelon-spitting contest.

Demanding more precision than everyone else at the party.

And at the same time they are the children standing up to the bully saying

“My dad can beat up your dad.”

And hoping their opponent doesn’t say “Prove it.”

They always say prove it.

There was a time where proofs were guarded in secrecy.

When braggart mathematicians,

the dogs of rival states who lusted after academic supremacy but not knowledge,

claimed they could prove things without proofs.

Where even a jot in the margins of a notebook done with enough pomp made you a god.

The mathematics eventually rebelled against loose proofs and found its true ecstasy,

Rigor.

Rigor is what separates mathematics from the beasts.

Science dictates the rules of our planet,

and daresay our entire dimension.

However, even scientists struggle with math.

Scientists view mathematicians as,

well, masochists is the wrong word.

I guess scientists acknowledge mathematicians the way most sports view cross country runners. Mathematicians relish doing the parts other scientists do as punishments.

But math is an obscenely illuminating and beautiful subject.

Mathematics needn’t be scary.

Mathematics is really the study of sets.

Sets are the piles of objects curated by the lonely.

The horde exhibits consistent rules.

Every object can be related and grouped with every other object

As can two people find some common ground.

These connections map to constellations across papers meaning more than the papers

And the time they take to construct

We are all connected.

Whether we join each other up or bend down to meet someone where they lay,

We are escaping the void of an empty set.

And the laws of mathematics steady with the same consistency all through whatever ordeal

The chef has challenged diners with today.

There are always rules, and the rules can be trusted.

In this set, joining and meeting are always the same.

They are Idempotent, meaning an operation sticks.

One and done.

Idempotency is the effective lesson which is learned exactly once and remembered forever,

Like the cat who jumps on the hot stove exactly once.

If the definition of insanity is the repetition of a single task over and over again

while expecting different results,

Idempotency is the opposite of insanity.

The human race is one huge set.

Idempotency is how we interact with other people.

It is meeting someone where they are.

We can all be a little better than we were before.

Idempotency is inviting them to raise each other up and join them in the journey.

Southern Utah University

Today we will be talking about advanced mathematics.

Let out your primal screams now.

It almost seems as if mathematics are a histamine to most people,

But mathematics is omnipresent in every interaction between two universes.

Mathematics is obscenity. We know it when we see it.

Mathematicians are the teenage girls in the back of a borrowed Toyota Camry

Demanding to know “what are we?”

Most people feel the tense shrug and the stiff arm of her companion.

Mathematicians feel the swagger of a braggart uncle at the watermelon-spitting contest.

Demanding more precision than everyone else at the party.

And at the same time they are the children standing up to the bully saying

“My dad can beat up your dad.”

And hoping their opponent doesn’t say “Prove it.”

They always say prove it.

There was a time where proofs were guarded in secrecy.

When braggart mathematicians,

the dogs of rival states who lusted after academic supremacy but not knowledge,

claimed they could prove things without proofs.

Where even a jot in the margins of a notebook done with enough pomp made you a god.

The mathematics eventually rebelled against loose proofs and found its true ecstasy,

Rigor.

Rigor is what separates mathematics from the beasts.

Science dictates the rules of our planet,

and daresay our entire dimension.

However, even scientists struggle with math.

Scientists view mathematicians as,

well, masochists is the wrong word.

I guess scientists acknowledge mathematicians the way most sports view cross country runners. Mathematicians relish doing the parts other scientists do as punishments.

But math is an obscenely illuminating and beautiful subject.

Mathematics needn’t be scary.

Mathematics is really the study of sets.

Sets are the piles of objects curated by the lonely.

The horde exhibits consistent rules.

Every object can be related and grouped with every other object

As can two people find some common ground.

These connections map to constellations across papers meaning more than the papers

And the time they take to construct

We are all connected.

Whether we join each other up or bend down to meet someone where they lay,

We are escaping the void of an empty set.

And the laws of mathematics steady with the same consistency all through whatever ordeal

The chef has challenged diners with today.

There are always rules, and the rules can be trusted.

In this set, joining and meeting are always the same.

They are Idempotent, meaning an operation sticks.

One and done.

Idempotency is the effective lesson which is learned exactly once and remembered forever,

Like the cat who jumps on the hot stove exactly once.

If the definition of insanity is the repetition of a single task over and over again

while expecting different results,

Idempotency is the opposite of insanity.

The human race is one huge set.

Idempotency is how we interact with other people.

It is meeting someone where they are.

We can all be a little better than we were before.

Idempotency is inviting them to raise each other up and join them in the journey.